Greetings to you all! This page consists of my poems, quotes and proses cull from my brain. I wrote them in the afternoons at 1600 hours usually after a cup of strong expresso coupled with the music of Gregorian Chant. It gives me the right frame of mind to write. I write to release my inner emotions, the battling of the confusion and incapablilty of expressing my voice to the people around me which is slowly steering me to the verge of losing my sanity. Writing gives me the consolation that should I lost my sanity one day or the capability of rational reasoning, my literature will be read and comprehend, thus the reader will develop a deeper understanding of me Sylvester.
The concoction of caffeine with Prozac gives me a powerful arising climax in my brain that allows me to produce the following writings. Mad ravings or intellectual literacy you decide.
Sylvester
HOVERING
The thing in my head
hovering like a dark cloud
diffusing its toxic of depression into me
Like a zombie I wonder
unable to ponder
Loss of confidence
tendency of repetition emerge
tormenting further than ever
The thing in my head
it never stops tormenting me
its power so strong
that cripple my willpower to overcome it
Days to come
when will it be over?
DARLING - POEM FROM THE CRIMINALLY INSANE
When night falls,
Darling I await you
In the dead of the night
the music of the child of the night
Darling I hear you
Shackled in chains
strapped to the wall
Darling please release me
Teach me
the route to freedom
Moonlight shone
our face touched
I could feel your nails
digging to unearth the madness in me
Ravaged by my insanity
pleading for eternal release
Pain and Anguish I want no more
Darling have mercy on me
DEVOID OF LOVE - POEM OF THE CRIMINALLY INSANE
The night falls in a heavy, suffocating cloak, entwined are we
the salvation for which you developed
flares once, then dies,
devoured by madness
all hope must sicken and die
your love is no more
how could you abandon me?
angels surround us, crying,
sanctuary
THE MUSIC OF THE NIGHT - POEM FROM THE CRIMINALLY INSANE
Silence
the music of the night
darkness enveloped the night sky
moonlight shining upon my naked soul
engulf in the flames of bitterness as I weep
Ravaged with grief
contort with pain
the loss of avenue of release
Seeds of depression is sow
threatening its growth to insanity
Devoured by my own obsession
how could fate tear me asunder
Mind deviate
I plunge into the abyss of my own madness
BLOOD OF SORROW - TRANSCRIPT OF THE CRIMINALLY INSANE
Cold mental bars in contrast to the warmth of sunlight, wish I could feel the coldness of the mental but alas I am strapped to my own madness and rendered helpless. Tears of blood flows again, its redness a depict to the pain of loss love. Why won't she visit me I thought with waves of bitterness. There are voices in my head, I could hear them, clear and precise, it is another part of my life but the secular world perceived it differently. Red blood continue to move through my body, soon it will become black where the essence of my life turns dark.
Devoured by my own madess threatening eternal insanity, the road to salvation seems so remote. I really adore her, but she has mercilessly drove me to aberration. I could still remember her smile, her laughter that was filled with the wisdom of a mother. Then the smile and laughter stopped, I flew into panic, from panic came grief and finally, madness. Nursing the raw wound inflicted by her I lick to stem the pain, kiss it to remind myself of the happier times we had together, Mrs Ong and me....
PAIN LANGUISH - POEM FROM THE HEART OF THE HOPELESS IN LOVE
It has been the months since I last heard you
Tried as I might I still miss your voice
your coldness has sow the seed of hurt
never mind the foolishness I have committed
I want to see you, that's what I am pleading from you
Cruel as you may be
nursing the heartache of yours
in which I have failed you repeatedly
Days are helpless and lost
Nights are the languish of pain
Darling I can only say I am sorry
I yearn to receive your emails again
I long to hear your voice
Please give me back my dreams
DT pleading EO....
BLOOD NIGHT - Poem from the Criminally Insane
Howling of the wolf
cease the sunlight into the mountains
welcoming dawn of the night
its arrival strengthening my might
driving away the pain of my helplessness
How can she say
that I didn't try...
she failed to see the depth of my eyes
Feelings remain intact, she is still my love
Blue Blood moving in streams of my body
Longing to taste your blood
that will turn mine from blue to red
that will turn you into mine
I could hear our screams of terror and pain
I could smell you
I could taste you
Mrs Ong...
POLICY OF SINFUL TEMPTATION
Through pain and suffering
came the temptation of the flesh
from Bipolar and Depression
There were times
where my crimes of sins
seems almost unforgivable
Pain is what I received
I give in to my sins
because my will is fragile
In return I received Pain
Shackled like a prisoner
Chained to sinful temptations
Liberation seems so far away
ADDICTION
It’s a daily fix
at the same time
with the same concoction
The blend of espresso and Prozac
sending tidal waves of creativity
reaching its peak of ingenuity
the advent of ecstasy joy and pleasure
It's an addiction
I can't help it for I need it to get by
Heartbeat racing
that's my life
MASTERLY CONSUMMATE
In the dimness of the light
its a play under the sheets
two naked souls
one on top, the other underneath
Forgetting about equality
longing to satisfy the hunger for lust
The ecstasy pleasure derived
riding among the clouds of climax
Love itself is not enough
We will do it all over again
SIX TO EIGHT MONTHS
First three months
alluring of the heart and soul
Trying hard to establish the bond
of an espouse surrogate being
Consolation yearn
like a child to her mother
Reciprocate received with embrace and treasured
The word love, so precarious
for it threatens to destroy all once utter
On the sixth month to the eighth
hopeless persistent fracture bond
The word Love
should never be voiced
FORGIVENESS
Girl of twenties, life filled with love yearnings
hurt the heart of woman of fifties
repeatedly with her follies
She has no control over her deeds
Heart of woman gives up girl
Girl flew into panic and guilt
Beg for forgiveness
but woman's heart remain stone cold
Fighting back tears
fond of memories of woman and girl manifests
Twenty candles engulf by Fifty candles
It is always the sixth to eighth month
SHAME AND GUILT
The dawning of another era
marks the beginning of another cycle
Blues and Reds in my head
love is all I want
Absurdities thoughts in my head
led me to commit the Mistake
that brought me Shame and Guilt
The warnings were clear
but ignorance is what I choose to be
When Shame and Guilt begin to hurt
crying won't improve the pain
Words of violence
did little to stem the wound
Tears on the brink
wallowing into painful bitterness
SEE YOU
All I want is to see you
It's has been a full year now
All I want is to see your smile of wisdom
the way that it was before
The days we used to talk together
Memories long gone but never forgotten
Your reprimands only make me adore you more
I treasure those words you said to me
they were like beautiful music to my ears
All I want is to see you
One year is a long time
my tresses has grown long with waiting
We'll be always be friendly like before
twenty candles guard by fifty candles
Though I think I still adore you
All I want is to see you
A chance that I am imploring like child
SHAKING PAIN
On the verge of going down on my knees
begging for your forgiveness
It's a misery for me
and a torture for me
When I have erred
Trying as hard as I could
To make you see
How important it is you to me
Here is my shaking plea
From my heart to you
Nobody knows me
as well as you do
It is hard for me shake the disease
of Bipolar and Depression
that curbs my weird behaviour
Sunday mornings
no matter what
the greetings continue
hoping to appease the anger in you
Mrs Ong...
BURN, HOPES BURN TOO
Her presence invisible
But I could see the coldness in her eyes
My tears fell
How can I say that I never try....
I did race against pain
to see things in the depth of my own eye
I will never see her again
I don't want to cry again
the pain will go away
just like ten years of relationship
Recovery, be slow and pain
I will move on with life
Sweet blood flows through my body
I could hear myself saying
I still miss her
RAINY TEARS
Rain concerto swept thru the pane
sending droplets of tears
from the pain of losing
the way my broken heart is hurting
All the sorrow and pain
I will do my crying like the sky
Rain like tears from my eyes
She will never know she remains my love
and the heartache remains
Raindrops falling from heaven
will never wash away my grief
Since we will never see each other
I will still hide those rainy tears
that falls from the pain you inflict
Someday when my crying cease
I will wear a smile
to the bright morning dawn
where hopes of love rekindled
But it will never be the same
THE SOUND OF SILENCE
Between the embodiment of Esthera and Dawn
there exist the sound of silence
beyond the light of reason
spur through the sin of Dawn
O how painful is love
for it devour the heart filled with tender yearnings for Esthera
The tormenting silence of Esthera and Dawn
sends the cessation of the essence of Dawn's sentience
In the wells of silence
screams for Esthera went unheard
And the whispers in the sound of silence continues
TEARS OF ROSEMARY
Esthera, the Babylonian and Assyrian mother goddess who presided over love, war and fertility
so adore by Aurora the Roman goddess of the morning dawn
pining the hopes of seeing the mother goddess that she worship with love and devotion
Gliding through the waves of clouds
with tears of rosemary flowing endlessly
in search for her beloved Esthera
her heart longing for the inhalation of affection from her maternal bosom
Tears of Rosemary flows like stream
as the Roman goddess continues her quest
for the Babylonian and Assyrian mother goddess Esthera
LOSS LOVE GRIEF
The icy water,
simmer down the searing heat wave ravaging my body
Drenched,
I sink into delirium
and could hear the voice of Esthera
which cracked like a whip
its powerful strokes draw pain and blood from my legs
From pain came grief,
how I miss her
Through the folly of my faux pas
the silence between us emerge
plunging me into loss love grief
FOREVER GONE
Nights are lonely
Coldness is all I feel
Wish you could hold me tight
Because you have given me light
you make me strong
Racing against pain
I will soon be gone
just like enveloping mist
fading away my anguish
Endless streams of memories
The good ones hurt deeper
the bad ones hurt stronger
Days are high
and so are the nights
Darling how I miss you
Tears in my eyes
there is no turning back now
my last breath passes out at dawn
DEPRESSION
The black beast of Depression
strikes me without warning
comes without showing
sends me crying with fear
Darkness envelopes
I reach within myself
to find nothing in there
The powers of the beast
gnawing away my sanity
I fear the craze and lonely moments
as my powers drifted away
My blood I could feel
flowing in my body as I fought
its colour red diluted into water
Talk to me
Tell me please
how I could rid of the waves
Sleep and Stupor
the solution to blocking Depression
PROVERBS AND QUOTES BY SYLVESTER
- Be seduced, be submissive, reciprocate what is given as it comes only once
- Madness is the route to Insanity, which is permanent
- It is not lack of love, but a lack of feeling that caused the cessation of relationships
- Madness is a temporary block of reality, Lunacy is the banish to eternal illusion
- Inspirations from various aspirations is the avenue to perversion
- Humans of various colours but with the same colour of blood
- To live in a fantasy is like living in a delirious state of mind
- Because I know I am going mad, I have to demonstrate my love to those whom I adore
- Suicide is not what I want, I choose it when pain exceed its resources to cope with
- The harsher the reprimand, the stronger the love foundation I have for her
- The whipping sharp pain derived from suffering for your love is savoury sweet
- The sweetness of falling in love determines the level of the pain of losing
- Entwined embrace swirling among the clouds is the signature of true affections
- True love emits the wisp of passionate affections
- Maternal love and carnality when mixed form factual love
- Love can be painful, its wound is always raw and fresh
Back to:
Websitus Cyberarts
My Favourite Music
Subjects of Interests
Western Architecture
Angels
Jokes - Lighter moments of my life
Gothic Literacy of Sylvester
Webpage on Mental and Psychological Health
Gallery of the highest form of art
CyberArts's Gothic Symphony
The Beauty of God's Creation
You can send me mails to the following address:
Hotmail
Yahoo Mail
Background music is Athair Ar Neamh, by Enya
This website was created on 28 December 2004
Website updated on 18 September 2005
This webpage was awarded Excellence in Literacy Power by the Institute of Mania Depressive Research
This webpage is designed and published by Dawn Tan
Copyright © 2004-2005 All poems, quotes and proses composed and written by Sylvester.
All Rights Reserved
Disclaimer: This site is of no intention of commercial business but merely the manifestation of the author's passion of life and mood. Please read the literacy works with an open mind and respect its flair of composition.
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